Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
