but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
