we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
