don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
