why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
