i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
