That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
