if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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