Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
