I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
