dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
