I want to stick my p in your. b.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
