and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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