So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
