There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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