WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
