Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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