So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
