Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
