I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
