just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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