It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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