It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
