Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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