maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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