im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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