I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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