Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
