I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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