im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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