Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
