Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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