p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
