Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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