My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
