Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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