I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
