woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
