I heard we made out
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
