I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
