just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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