If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
