Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
