that's an acceptable place to lick
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
