I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
