okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
