Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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