do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
