Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Dick very happy bro
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
