K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
