u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Fuck appropriateness.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
